I’ve been browsing Pinterest like a madwoman recently. After 20 years of living in our house, I’ve decided that it’s time for a bathroom overhaul. I’m ready to say goodbye to the hunter green tile, the camel-colored walls, the jetted bathtub that could fit a family of five, and the gold fixtures. It’s time to update the outdated!
Humans can be like this too, you know. Some of us walk around with a hairstyle like Jennifer Aniston and are still wearing our mom jeans from the 1990s while everyone else is sporting the shaggy layer look and wearing chic low-slung wide-legged trousers.
It’s not just clothing and our hairstyles that can become outdated, our thinking can too.
- self-limiting beliefs like “I’m too old/young,” “I’m too fat,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not good enough”
- heavy baggage like our old hurts, the “chips” on our shoulders, unforgiveness
A Waste of Time
A funny thing happened as I got older. I finally embraced my uniqueness and quit caring about what other people thought about me.
Ironically, had this mindset been in place when I was younger it would have saved me a lot of heartache and trouble and I could have gotten down to what’s important in life-living intentionally, making a difference, and being a light to others.
For years, my confidence and self-belief were at an all-time low. I had almost no inner ‘compass’ or direction. And I didn’t value myself at all, which meant I was always looking outside myself for acceptance and validation, not to mention looking at all the “good stuff” others seemed to have.
Talk about a big fat waste of time that resulted in a whole bunch of regrets!
- When I could have been standing out, I was busy trying to fit in.
- When I should have been speaking my mind, I remained quiet.
- When I could have been walking my own walk, I was comparing myself to others.
Questioning is the first step in change. Just like a toddler specializes in asking “how,” “why,” “why not” questions; we need to begin asking questions about ourselves too.
- Why do I believe what I do?
- Who told me that?
- Why don’t I think I can?
- When did I start to think this way?
- Why do I care so much about what people think of me?
Updating Your Thinking How-Tos
I’ve gotten so many “how-to update your bathroom” tips from Pinterest. As someone who doesn’t have a decorating “green thumb” these tips have been priceless to me.
I thought I’d share a few of my very own tried and true “how to update your thinking” tips with you here :
- Find an anchor. Whenever you want to revert back to an outdated mindset or belief, find something to remind you of who you are NOW (or who you want to be). Maybe it’s a photo of you doing something that shows you outside of your comfort zone. Check out the photo of me in Utah. I’m desperately afraid of heights (like pee-in-my-pants afraid!) and here I am sitting on a boulder overlooking a steep dropoff-eek!. Or maybe it’s a song that gets you pumped up and feeling strong. Listen to this song and see what I mean!
- Change your view. Look at your old outdated mindset from another angle. Is this really what you want to believe as you continue to go through life? Does what you believe about yourself even seem reasonable?
- Slow down. We, humans, have a tendency to hustle and bustle all with the goal of getting ‘er done. In the meantime, we often don’t slow down enough to recognize things-especially old mindsets- that are holding us back from living fully. Intentionally slowing down and giving yourself time for introspection is important.
- Take back the power! This is a favorite of mine. No one else deserves to hold you back from all you were meant to be. You are exceptional and made for greatness (and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!). When you believe otherwise you’re doing a disservice to the world. And, let me tell you, the world desperately needs your unique talents and all that you have to share.
- Have new responses ready. When you hear that voice in your head that says you can’t, respond “why can’t I?” When someone looks down on you, tell yourself “who cares-I have nothing to prove!”. When you start to compare yourself to others. Change it up and remind yourself that you are one-of-a-kind and made to walk a unique path, unlike others.
Hurry! Life flies by. A few months ago I wrote a blog about thinking about your life as if it was a grid with 100 squares.
Think about this: Imagine a grid with 10 squares going across and 10 squares going down. Each square represents a year in your life. Now visualize yourselves coloring in a square for every year you’ve been alive. What would the grid look like? Would only a few rows be colored? Would half of them?
Download grid here.
It’s sobering how quickly the squares fill up, isn’t it? Think about all of the things you would warn your 20-year-old self about…the limiting beliefs and mindsets that you now realize don’t serve you well.
There’s good news! While we can’t get our past back, we can take charge of our future and do everything we can to ensure that it’s a bright one. Today is the day to update the outdated! Will you join me?
I’d love to hear back from you. Send me a quick note and let me know what outdated thoughts are holding you back from living the life you want. Need some help “overhauling” them? I’d love to help. Here’s a link to connect with me so we can have a chat to discuss.
Feel like things are a little out of sorts in your life? Think you have room for improvement, but don’t know where to start? Join the PERSONAL GROWTH Book Challenge coming up in our group The Confident Woman Club over on Facebook. Not on Facebook, but still interested in the challenge? No worries! You can contact me here and join in on the fun.