How to Find Yourself Again: 7 Ways to Find the Person You Once Were

Ever look in the mirror and wonder where that care-free and fun-loving person from long ago went off to?

Maybe the kids have left the house and you’re trying to find the person you once were before you took on the role of parent.  Maybe you’re juggling plates and putting out fires and in the midst of the chaos you’ve lost who you once were. Maybe you’re home with your “littles” changing diapers, loading bodies in car seats, losing sleep, and your “adult” conversations are sparse.  

Maybe you feel like you’re just going through the motions and are drifting along while your body just does what you’ve trained it to do. Excitements are few, challenges are sparse, and routine rules your day.  Yawn. 

Losing the sense of who you are can feel like losing a dear friend.  When did the person looking at you in the mirror replace the person you once were?

Finding yourself again may seem impossible.  Keep your chin up because there’s hope!  We all go through seasons of chaos, change, and an ebbing in our confidence.  You’re not alone.  Many of us have “been there-done that” so welcome to the “Who Am I” club!

So What Does it Mean to ‘Find Yourself’?

The idea of finding yourself simply means plugging into your confidence, your gifts and talents, your sense of self-worth, and your independence. 

Finding yourself opens up your potential to truly accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Now What?

Knowing that you’re feeling lost is a good thing! It means you’re heading in the right direction. You’ve sensed something not being right.  Well done, My Friend, you’re actually further along than most.

You’ve got to know yourself so you can at last be yourself.  D. H. Lawrence

So…are you ready to dive in and learn how to find yourself again?  Here we go.  Follow the 7 “R”s:

1. Remember.  Remember what you once loved to do.  Scrapbooking?  Golfing?  Happy Hour?  Weekend Getaways?  Now take it a step further and imagine doing things that you may come to love. Start a blog or a podcast.  Design a webpage.  Take cooking classes.  Join a book club.  Doing more of what you love (may love) is a stepping stone to finding yourself.
2. Reshape.  Reshape the parameters of your comfort zone.  The routine, repetition, monotony,  ho-humness, and lack of change in your life all contribute to becoming lost.  Friend, you gotta try new things!  Do something crazy.  Embrace spontaneity. Maybe it’s as small as listening to a different genre of music.  Maybe it’s camping.  Being a guest speaker at a small gathering.  Going skydiving.  Thinking on your feet, pivoting quickly, adapting to new experiences, and accessing your ability to meet any unforeseen challenge helps you find your true self.
3. Redefine.  Redefine who you are.  Getting back to who you once were may be a priority, but redefining yourself is important too.  Look closely at the labels you may have given yourself in the past.  Shy.  Quiet.  Aloof.  Serious.  The label may be outdated! You can also check out my coaching portal filled with resources to help you let go of labels.    Redefining you will help you find your true self.  
4. Reflect.  Ask yourself questions like:  What would I do if I was guaranteed to not fail?  What are my core values?  What did I once love to do?  What can I do to bring value to others?  What excites me?  What fills me with joy?  Reflection will put in perspective what is important to you and help you on your journey to finding yourself once again. 
5. Revive.  Revive and rekindle past relationships.  People lose touch all the time for no other reason than they simply didn’t make the time to connect or they were in a season where they had to prioritize other things. Reach out to someone you have lost touch with. Pick up the phone.  Send a note.  Message someone on social media.  Plan coffee/lunch/or dinner date.  Being nostalgic with a long-lost friend can be therapeutic.  Reviving those relationships from the past is just one more step to finding that person who you used to be. 
6. Reconnect.  Reconnect with your spouse or significant others.  Over time we can lose the connection with those that we love the most.  Finding yourself once again is the perfect time to also “refind” that loved one that you’ve lost connection with too.  There is no better time than when you are trying to find yourself to include the connection with the one who stole your heart.  You never know-your significant other may just be on their own journey to finding themselves so why not do this together?
7. Reimagine.    Don’t forget to dream.  What have you always wanted to do? Have you created a “bucket list” lately?  Try it.  Come up with 20 things you’ve always wanted to do, things you’ve wanted to see, or places you’ve wanted to visit.  Sail the ocean?  See the Great Pyramids in Egypt?  Take the elevator up to the top of the Eiffel Tower?  The sky’s the limit?  Dreaming again will get you excited as you take steps to find the dreamer you once were.  

Bottom line, you’re past is a part of you.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Love yourself wholly and completely-wins, losses, faults, regrets and everything in between.  

Bon voyage to you, My Friend, as you go on your journey to rediscovering who you are!  I wish you all the best and remember, reach out to me any time if you need help on your new journey.  Be sure and nab these resources to help you along your way too!