Feelings are like visitors, let them stay a while

Feelings are like visitors so let them stay awhile. This is so important to understand.

Recently I woke up and felt heavy in my spirit. I wasn’t my normal self. I try to make lemonade out of lemons but for a full day, I was feeling down. The old Lynn would have put her feelings aside and I said, “I’m not going to think about it.” I wouldn’t even think about it. For the old Lynn, suppressing my feelings manifested itself in so many negative behaviors, one being an eating disorder. My relationships were rocked because of my eating disorder. 

We are experiencing things like have never happened before. I was feeling angry because the places I wanted to go to were closed. I was frustrated and full of despair and fear. Am I going to get the virus? Am I going to give someone the virus and I don’t know it? I was feeling sad because my son didn’t get to participate in his graduation. Doubt and disappointment were creeping in.

I realize that at this point in my life I am so different than I was because I recognized my feelings as visitors, and I let them in. Feelings will knock on your door until you open that door and you let the feelings in. You do not have to embrace them and say “Yea, I am glad you are here.” But you need to recognize them and they might stay a day, a week or a month.

(I am not speaking here about people who suffer from depression. I have people in my life who suffer from depression, and it is real. It needs the assistance of a doctor. I am talking about the feelings that come and go, and we suppress them. They then manifest themselves in different ways.)

Feelings are like visitors who want to stay for a day, week or month. When you welcome them, they will come and they will leave. They want you to let them come in and address them. I promise you that if you want them to go, you need to let them come in. You have to embrace them; you might not like them, but you need to embrace them.

Here are some things that can help:

1. Don’t suppress the feelings. Listen to them. “Lynn, you are feeling sad,” “Lynn, you are feeling frustrated.”
2. Write the feelings down. Old Lynn suppressed her feelings and it turned out badly. Recently I wrote down Angry, Frustrated, Desperate. 
3. Call a friend and share that with her. This is not a sign of weakness. I live in a house with all men, and I think it is important to emphasize to them that they have permission to talk about their feelings. They need to hear that expressing feelings is not a weakness. 

Let your feelings in. They are visitors and they won’t stay for a long time. Acknowledge them, open the door and say good-bye to them until next time. We have been given feelings and we need to experience them.