It Starts with Curiosity
Today I want to talk about being curious in your conversations. I have 6 tips on how to have a better conversation, and it always starts with curiosity!
The truth of the matter is, we all have a story. If we were all carbon copies of each other, how boring would that be? We all have our own thumbprint, and we’re all unique in our own way.
Because of this, people want to be understood. They want to be heard. It’s so important when we’re having conversations with people to allow them to be heard. Everyone is different, so get to know them!
How Do You Approach It?
We can approach conversations in one of two ways. One, we can approach it with a curiosity and desire to get to know the person. Or, we can approach it with a pre-judging way. We know everything there is to know, so why learn more?
In my business, I’m training people on how to have good conversations quite often. I talk to my team about never judging someone while you’re talking to a potential customer. That’s a microcosm of life, though. I have the same conversation with my kids. You should never pre-judge someone just because you think you know them already.
So, in no particular order, I came up with 6 basic ways to have a better conversation. Keep in mind, these are applicable to your everyday life, not just your business!
Don’t Jump Ahead
1. Don’t jump to the next thought before you’ve allowed that person to talk. We’ve all done this before, I’m sure. For instance, if someone is talking and we already know what we want to say next. We already have the point ready to make. Let go of the need to have the last word!
I tell my team all the time, don’t have a word vomit reaction where you want to tell everyone everything you know. You don’t want to be constantly jumping to the next thought. Again, everyone wants to be heard. Listen to what the other person has to say.
Ask Good Questions
2. Ask good questions. That sounds so basic and obvious, but asking good questions is important. And, don’t make them too interrogating. Here’s a simple formula you can use: question – question – statement.
For example, you could ask, where are you from? Then they answer. Then you can ask, how long have you lived there? Then they answer. Then, you give a statement – oh I love that city and this activity. Does that make sense? You’re not interrogating them, you’re creating conversation.
From a business standpoint, you could ask…how long have you been struggling with that skin condition? [answer] What different things have you tried to help? [answer] Then finally, I understand what you mean, I know someone who has struggled with that as well, and this is what I’d like to suggest to help. It’s really a simple formula to follow!
3. Give authentic compliments. Throwing out a flip compliment like “I like your hat!” might seem enough, but it’s not. Here’s something genuine and authentic – “I love that hat! That color looks great on you. It really makes your eyes pop.”
Do you hear how that’s different than just throwing out a generic statement? Don’t just give a compliment to give a compliment, be authentic about it.
4. Listen with your full face and remember key points. I’ll repeat it again, people want to be heard. They want to be understood. As you’re listening, really remember where they said they were from…how long have they been struggling…what are their desires? Listen fully!
Have you ever been in a conversation and you can see they’re looking behind you, or looking at their phone? Or have you noticed yourself doing the same thing? You’re not listening fully if you’re distracted. Give people the courtesy of your full attention.
Listen and Help
5. Let people talk. Don’t interrupt. Let people sell themselves, like they’re on an infomercial and it’s their time to shine. Let them sell themselves and you act as an interested buyer.
6. Ask the person how you can help them. How can you bring value to their lives? Quite often, since I remember conversations that I’ve had, if I come across something I remember that person will like or something else unique to them or their condition, I will send them an article. I enjoy doing that kind of stuff, just to show the person that I was truly listening.
What Tools Do You Want in Your Shed?
I want to leave you with a quote. This comes from Cee Lo Green.
“Tolerance, compromise, understanding, acceptance, patience…I want those all to be very sharp tools in my shed!”Share this quote on Twitter!Click To Tweet
I do too! Don’t you want them to be sharp tools in your shed? Do you want to be curious and be a great conversationalist?
If you got value out of this, please share it with someone! I’m all about paying it forward. I aim to help others reach their full potential. These tips are not only good for your business, but for your everyday life too!