What Is A Tribe?
I recently had an animated conversation with four girls I consider part of my tribe. What exactly is a tribe, you might be wondering? I use that term often.
It’s that group of friends who “get you.” That get your vibe. That know what makes you tick. That love you, warts and all. My tribe and I had a little pow-wow, and the topic we were all anguishing over was the chaos in our lives.
The truth of the matter is that we all juggle plates and ride the roller coaster of ups and downs every now and then. This often leaves us dazed, confused, frazzled, and rattled.
Hard To See The Lines
Life’s just like that, right? None of us has a road map, GPS, or defined directions on which way we should go.
Life’s chaos can be likened to driving in a white out snowstorm, in pouring gully washer rain, or thick-as-pea-soup fog. It’s hard to see the lines. Life is like this every now and then.
For the sake of today’s blog, I want to focus on the chaos in your personal life…family, relationships, and inside of you.
Clarity Can Be Found in the Chaos
So what do we do to get off the hamster wheel and leave the “jungle” of chaos and seek clarity?
We can:
1. Slow Down
Sure His mercies are new every morning, and for that I’m extremely grateful…but no matter how much we may wish for a do-over, today doesn’t get to be lived over.
Nothing will be lost if you don’t complete a task or have the answer today. We mustn’t allow the future “what-ifs” to interrupt our “now.”
Mark Twain has a quote that I love:
“I have spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened.”
Share this quote on Twitter!Click To TweetI don’t know about you, but I agree with Mr. Twain 100%!
2. Tie Up Loose Ends
I read something recently about the “Ziegarnik Effect.” It’s a tendency for people to remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed tasks.
When you and I have those “to-do’s” or deadlines looming over us…like laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, or uncomfortable conversations…we often forget all that we’ve accomplished and checked off, in favor of stressing out over the thing that we still need to do.
So what are we to do when this happens? First and foremost, we need to expose the tasks and tackle them! I often use post it notes, alarms on my phone, and time blocks on my calendar to get me going to completion.
3. Get Back to Your Core
Our core values can spur us on to stepping back and questioning our chaos. Are the things that are causing us chaos lining up with our values? Our core values can help us to examine our priorities.
If your fundamental beliefs revolve around integrity, respect, honesty, leadership, and your health…and the chaos in your life involves none of them…then you may need to re prioritize what matters most to you and let some things go.
4. Examine Your Past
Bad things happen to all of us. None of us are immune. One key to getting past your chaos is to refuse to stay stuck in your past circumstances. We don’t need to agree with what happened in our past, but we should accept it and move forward without dread or exhaustion. Life can be beautiful again – I promise!
5. Go “Solo”
Time spent alone can be a great antidote to chaos! You and I must have some solo time and get comfortable with our own company. Here’s a “must” when you are going solo: NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED! That’s right! Ditch the phone, and ditch the distractions!
6. Notice the Winks
Listen, feel, and see the signs all around you for validation. These are things you read or come across that line up to something that’s been on your heart. Often times, people will call them coincidences, but I choose to believe they are messages to me by way of the Holy Spirit.
So, go ahead, tune into your “radio frequency,” your inner “pilot light,” and/or the Holy Spirit…and notice the winks!
7. Give Grace
Be gentle with yourself. Would you think or say the same things about a friend as you do to yourself?
Things like:
• I’m so forgetful!
• I’m a hot mess!
• I’m so disorganized!
• I’m a clutz!
• I’m a loser!
• I’m worthless!
Stop! Be kind to yourself.
8. Stand on the Balcony
When I was in Cannes, France last year on a company trip, our hotel room had, as they say, “a room with a view.” Our balcony faced the cliffs and harbor of the iconic city. When I stood on it, I gained a unique perspective of the city and the vast beauty of the French Riviera.
You and I need to do this every now and then when we’re in the middle of chaos. Stepping back and looking with new eyes and perspective can bring clarity to even the most chaotic of situations!
9. Get Curious/the 4 W’s
We need to get downright nosy with ourselves when chaos threatens to take over. Asking ourselves questions like:
• Why am I feeling this way?
• When did I start feeling this way?
• Who gets me riled up?
• Who are the “sand paper” people in my life that rub me the wrong way?
• What is different about this situation than others in the past?
10. Speak Out Gratitude
By far, the greatest antidote for chaos is gratitude. That’s right. It’s impossible to be dazed, confused, frazzled, or rattled when you are speaking aloud words of gratitude.
Try it right now. In the next minute, start naming off things that you are grateful for. Try digging deep for things other than food, shelter, and clothing.
What happened when the 60 seconds had elapsed? Were you still frazzled, or did you get a respite from the “storm?” I’d wager a guess that you were somewhat at peace while your mind focused on the “great” things in your life, instead of the not-so-great things.
In Summary
Let’s decide to “just breathe.” You and I will never have this moment again.
“When everything is moving and shifting, the only way to counteract chaos is stillness. When things feel extraordinary, strive for ordinary. When the surface is wavy, dive deeper for quieter waters.” ~ Kristin Armstrong
